I remember as a child my sister picked up a little phrase from someone at church.  The phrase was “Now is that edifying?”   I smile now over the many times she would ask our family “the question”.  Every time one of our siblings would have a disagreement, we would challenge the other one with the question, “Now is that edifying!?”  Somehow over the years, I had forgotten about this challenging question until the Lord began talking to me about renewing my mind through His Word in my attitude toward others.   

As Christians, Christ has given us much instruction on making our conversations uplifting to each other. Edify means to build or lift up.  Paul wrote in Romans 14:19 to follow after things that make peace and that will edify another.  As Christians, we are too quick and bold to criticize each other behind our backs and to our face.  We are too easily convinced that the only way to justify ourselves is to point out the negative in a person instead of the positive. 

Many times my husband and pastor has discussed with me the need for making peace no matter who is right or wrong.   As Christians, it’s time we stop pointing out the things that are wrong in each other and start building each other up.  Sometimes a negative person is negative because he or she has been criticized continually and they have put up a wall of defensiveness.  I have seen by husband over and over look for a way to compliment a person who desperately needed to be lifted up.  He knew that the person had problems but he chose to look for something good to edify that person. When he would do this, you could see a light come in their eyes. Romans 14:19 says, Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. 

Recently, we were eating dinner at another family’s house and he complimented the woman on being a great hostess that night, for making us feel so welcome and for the great meal she prepared.  The lady responded a little surprised and said, “Thank you, I’ve never been told that before”.  It was so disheartening to hear that this woman who does such a great job serving her family and others, had never been told how great she was in that area. 

What if the person you are eating with isn’t a very good cook?  May I challenge you to find something good to say to the person regarding the meal or their hospitality?  What if they don’t dress the way you dress whether it be modest or immodest?  Can we find something good in them to let them know that we care about them?  What if they curse you to your face?  Should we let our spirit be angered and find something bad to say back? No.  Absolutely not.  That is, if you call yourself a Christian.  Proverbs 15:1 says, A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words cause quarrels.  Proverbs 15:4 says, Gentle words cause life and health; griping brings discouragement.

It’s not always easy to respond appropriately when we are angered or humiliated by someone who isn’t a Christian and it’s really hard when they claim to be a Christian. For we know to call ourselves a Christian simply means we are a follower of Christ.  Unfortunately, we have given ourselves and God a bad reputation to those that are not believers when we do not live our lives as the Word of God instructs.  I challenge you to find something good to say about everyone you meet today. Stop before you respond harshly to someone who may have been harsh to you. Ask yourself as my sister used to ask us, “Now is that edifying?” Romans 15:2 Let's please the other fellow, not ourselves, and do what is for his good and thus build him up in the Lord.  Who knows, you just might win them over to Christ.  After all, isn’t that our goal?

*All scriptures are taken from The Living Bible and King James Version.